I got a little bored (and nostalgic?) tonight and decided to see if MySpace still exists. Shocker - it does! I read old emails from friends, past and present. I looked at old pictures. I laughed at who I used to be. I also read my "blogs" from years and years ago and found a few I'd rather not loose. What better place to store something you want to keep forever then Google?
August 14th, 2007:
Playboy Event: Midsummers Night Dream
Current mood:tired
I keep meaning to write about the last Playboy Event:
Background: One of my old co-workers and I are EMTs for Playboy Mansion events. We worked 4th of July and now this past one, which was the biggest party of the year.
Midsummers Night Dream (August 4th, 2007):
Tiffanie (one of my old co-workers from the ambulance company) and I arrived at the mansion at 7pm and left at about 3:45am. We went to the briefing meeting with the security guys and main employees. Then we went to the security room and got our radio (walkie-talkie) and employee pins (little Playboy logo pins) and then walked around until the guests started arriving. The front of the mansion was all lit up with different colored spotlights and Christmas type white lights. The backyard was completely transformed under a tent. A HUGE tent. There were short tables with pillows (reminded me of I Dream of Genie style) around in the tent, as well as buffet tables, a dance floor, and a private mini-tent for Heff and the girls.
The guests started arriving around 8pm. They all park at a parking garage somewhere in Westwood and take shuttles up to the mansion. There are about 10 shuttles that run the entire night. Tiff and I stood where the people get off the shuttles and walk in to the Great Hall (where the coat check is set up). We smiled and said hello to the people as they walked by. The theme of the party was Arabian Nights. This mean nothing, really... The females were in lingerie - the younger ones in basically skimpy underwear, the older ones in 'nighties'. The men wore either pajamas and a robe or dressed to the Arabian Nights theme (think Aladdin...). There was a handful of about 5 to 10 girls that were in only body paint. And there is a dance floor. These girls danced. This means that they were sweating. You're getting it... Picture streaks of body paint on naked women walking around.
We had a conversation with Jamie Kennedy (comedian - see below) as he arrived. He approached us and asked what we thought of his costume. We talked with him for maybe 2 minutes. Polly Shore also said hello as he walked through. Every shuttle was full of tall, skinny blondes in ridiculous underwear and even more ridiculous high-heels.
After the shuttles started slowing down we walked around a bit. We went and sat in the Game Room (it's basically and arcade with different games and a pool table) for a while and saw some interesting things. Behind the Game Room is where the smoking (not cigarettes) goes on, so it was interesting to see who participated in that ( Paris Hilton ).
We also spent a good amount of time sitting to the side inside the tent near the dance floor. Some of those girls could really dance - and some could really not ( Paris Hilton ). At one point two guys (they claimed to be brothers) came over to Tiff and I and hit on us. They invited us to their after party. Ha! They were clearly drunk; there were hundreds of naked - or nearly naked - women, whereas Tiff and I were completely clothed - khaki pants and a sweater. We also had an interesting conversation with Tina Jordon - former Playmate. She came over to us and just started telling us her life story. She told us about her 10-year old (daughter?) and how life throws different things at you. She told us about a movie that changed her life (the title is escaping me...). The entire time she was crouched down to be eye level with me and Tiff (we were sitting) and she was holding on to our hands and arms with a death grip! At the very end she put her arms around our shoulders and brought us in real close so our heads were pretty much touching and started praying. It was so loud that we couldn't really tell what exactly she was saying, but she was clearly praying. Her boyfriend came over and dragged her away. Funny stuff.
At the very end of the evening Tiff and I were standing outside by the shuttles while people loaded on to be taken back to their cars. I spotted a girl that looked like someone I went to high school with and then she walked by... It WAS a girl I went to high school with! In her lingerie! At the Playboy Mansion! What are the odds? I didn't say hello - at the end of these parties people are either completely drunk or bitter because they aren't completely drunk. I looked her up on MySpace and apparently she does some stand-up now. I guess that's how she was there. Anyway, that was the weirdest part of the night for me - seeing someone I knew.
We did nothing medical the entire time we were there, which was nice, but also a little boring. There were plenty of people puking in bushes, but they didn't need our help to puke. We got back to the ambulance station at 4am and I got back to my house in Camarillo around 4:45am and was in bed at 5am. I slept until about 11am and then went to the Ventura County fair with my roommates and hung out and studied the rest of the night.
Here's a list of celebrities we sighted (I'm sure there were more, but these are the ones we could pick out):
Scott Baio - Chachi on Happy Days (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000281/actor1970)
Jamie Kennedy - Comedian (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005085/)
John Lovits - (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001484/)
Gil Godfried - (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0331906/)
Adrienne Curry - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1428355/
Pauly Shore - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001736/
J.C. Chasez - N*Sync (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0153871/)
Alfonso Ribeiro - Played "Carlton" on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005355/)
Paris Hilton - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0385296/
Nicky Hilton - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0385293/
Corey Feldman - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000397/
Stephen Dorff - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001151/
Shanna Moakler - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0594924/
David M. Navarro - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005263/
Brody Jenner - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1955925/
Todd Anthony Shaw (aka Too Short) - Rapper (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0790001/)
Tina Jordan - Former Playmate (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1061744/)
Taye Diggs - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004875/
Ian Ziering - Beverly Hills 90210 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005575/)
Edward Herrmann - Richard Gilmore (Grandpa) on the Gilmore Girls (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001346/)
Jose Canseco - Baseball Player (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1154820/)
March 16th, 2007:
How I Dealt
Current mood:nostalgic
I took the first half of my shift off on Thursday and spent the day in Santa Barbara remembering a very, very good friend:
My day in Santa Barbara was nice. My sister and I went and bought flowers and then went up to the cemetery early in the morning (we left the house at 9am). The cemetery is up highway 154. It was a pretty drive, and as we climbed higher in the mountains the fog lifted and the sun came out. No one was at the cemetery except us and we walked around and around looking for the headstone. I had been there once before (august) and there wasn't one up yet, but the manager told me where the spot was. Kristi and I had to ask the manager again, though. I thought the stone would have been out, but it still wasn't. We left the flowers and a picture on the tree next to her spot. I had been OK until then, but started crying when I set down the flowers. Kristi was crying, too, which made me cry even more. We stayed a couple minutes and then I went and waited for Kristi in the car. I want to go back when her parents have the stone put in. On the drive home we listened to some of Carrie's favorite music and some other music that was fitting (I put a play list together on my phone's I-Tunes), which made us cry more.
After we got back into SB we went and got more flowers and went to visit Carrie's parents (she was an only child). We sat with her mom for about 10 or 15 minutes. She gave us each a jar of homemade jelly that was Carrie's favorite. I had some tonight and it was really good. Paula (Carrie's mom) is so strong. Every time I have seen her she has come up to me and said the most beautiful things. She told us how much Carrie had loved us and had loved spending time with us. She said that she knows that Carrie was who she was because of who we were. I couldn't believe that - I've always thought it was the other way around. I have always felt that Carrie has shaped me. There were lots of pictures all over the house (it was like that before) and her room was exactly the same (she said she hasn't been able to go through her stuff yet - she's hoping she can do that this year). I pretty much cried silently through the entire visit.
Then I took Kristi home and loaded my stuff and all the camping stuff into my car. I met my two friends, Catherine & Christine (whom were both close with Carrie) for lunch and we visited for about an hour and fifteen minutes. At first we just caught up - I hadn't seen Christine since the memorial service (almost a year ago) and she's gotten married and stuff since then. Eventually we reminded each other of stories and they made fun of me in places Carrie would have. It was nice to be with them.
After lunch I went and had my car washed and then drove back to Camarillo (where I live). I listened to my "Carrie Music" on the drive and cried a little more. I got to Camarillo around 3pm and quickly unpacked all the stuff from my car. I added a few things to my lunch/dinner/breakfast and headed to work (in Van Nuys).
It was an emotional day, but it felt good to remember in the ways we did. People are what matter.
Thank you to my friends / roommates / family for being supportive these past few days (weeks?). It's meant a lot to me.
March 15th, 2007:
Remembering - March 15th, 2007
Current mood:nostalgic
March 15th, 2007 - One Year without Carrie
For the past few days I've felt like a shell – a hollow person. Like one of my old dialysis patients who has no idea what is going on around them. I'm distracted and tired. I find myself taking the wrong freeway exits at work, staying up until early in the morning when I have to get up for work and then when I finally do go to bed I can't sleep.
I've been trying to remember. Not just major things, but every single, tiny thing. I want to remember it all – everything we shared. I want to remember every moment, every game, every step, every word of advice, every joke, every laugh. I can't. The more I try to remember, the less I can. I started a list, because I remember random things at random times. My list is very small compared to the amount of time we spent together. My list makes me mad, because in no way does it compare. It's not like I've forgotten, though. I remember general things, mostly – how you would make fun of me, what you always wore, general activities we did together, how you made me feel special.
I can hear your laugh. I am so grateful that I can still hear your laugh after a year without it, after a year without you.
So much has changed since this date last year. I've found strength in myself that I didn't know existed. You showed it to me. As corny or cheesy as that sounds, I really do believe that. You helped me so much while you were alive, and you continue to help me every day.
I don't need to update you on my life, but I know you always loved highlights, so here are a few:
-Nixing Meds
-Driving across the Country and seeing Odd America at its best
-Driving across the Country and seeing meaningful exhibits of American history (and thinking of you at particular ones, knowing you would have loved them, wondering if they were places you had wanted to go)
-Moving Out of my parent's house - Knowing you would have been the catalyst for a house-warming party. You would have brought me something original, like a plant, even though I probably would have killed it.
You taught me an appreciation for life that I never understood until a year ago.
Your mom is so strong. I can't believe how strong she is. Every time I've seen her I've had to hold back tears. Once she called my cell while I was at a coffee shop studying with a hot fire-fighter guy for my EMT class. The number showed up as "private" and I answered. I had to excuse myself and go outside to talk to her. I stayed outside and pretended to be on the phone for at least 5 minutes after she hung up. How does she do it? How can she find the strength to reach out to others when she has suffered such pain, such loss? I hope that I have strength like that hidden in me somewhere.
Here is the list I compiled of memories. If anyone has any to add, I would really appreciate it (that's if anyone actually reads this).
-The Page Center (where we spent many a summer at Fit Kids together).
-"I's be poo'" (Carrie's way of explaining that she was a poor college student).
-Using my neighbor's hot tub while I was house-sitting. The hot tub turned out to be turned way down and it was more like a "luke-warm" tub. We didn't stay in long.
-UCSB Pool field trips.
-Carrie never buying a new bathing suite - even when hers was basically see-through in the back.
-"The Trick" (our trick – you on my back making a hulk-like face and growling when I was the scrawny small kid)
-Goleta Beach Field Trips.
-Rides in the Pony (her old Nissan Sentra)
-Swimming to the buoys with the boogie boards - she pulled my board with my strap in her teeth once when I was really little.
-Carrie doing Roll Call on field trips.
-Spite & Malice wars between Carrie and my sister, Kristi.
-MTD Bus rides – I was so stressed out we would leave a kid behind. You were concentrating on keeping the kids busy. Lauren was organizing the "HONK" sign movement.
-Carrie's khaki corduroy shorts. EVERY DAY.
-Knock-Out Basketball Games in the gym.
-Walking to San Marcos High School.
-Playing golf – Carrie met my friend (and avid golf player), Sumika and I at the course. Carrie came in flip flops and put her shoes on while holding her yogurt cup in her teeth on the first tee. Sumika reminds me of this story often.
-Spiking the volleyball around at Goleta Beach. I was never good at it, but Carrie let me join anyway.
-One day I was sitting on the curb and Carrie came and sat next to me. I didn't have to say anything. Neither did she.
-The card Carrie made and had everyone sign the summer I got my wisdom teeth removed. (I still have this card)
-Carrie's backpack that she always wore tight.
-Every morning Carrie would come in wearing flip flops and set herself down on the curb and put on her sneakers while eating something (usually yogurt).
-Carrie's tongue half out of her mouth while shooting the basketball.
I loved the memorial service. It was wonderful to have everyone together in one place. The pictures that Phil projected to music were wonderful. Everyone shared such wonderful stories. The story Stacey told of you going to Ikea, measuring furniture with your arms, and then going 30 mph on the freeway with the stuff on your Pony cracks me up. Stacey also shared a quote that I now love: "dare us to remember the promises we made to ourselves of who we want to be. They offer us a guiding hand, along with the hope and courage to go forward." –David Wilcox. Stacey wrote in one of her blogs (which I have started to stalk): "And it is true that a friend can double your joy and ease the burden of your sadness." You did both of these things. For everyone around you. For everyone lucky enough to call you a friend.
And, last but not least, this is my speech from the memorial service. I butchered my speech as I choked through it infront of 400 people. It still applies.
Carrie and I spent many summers with the rest of the Fit Kids Posse, monitoring large amounts of children at our Summer Home – also known as the Page Youth Center. Summer after summer Carrie would put ridiculously goofy spins on older games, insist on getting into the pool EVERY Tuesday even if it was freezing cold outside, and tease me about the latest weird thing I was (or wasn't) doing. Every morning she would walk in wearing the same khaki-colored corduroy shorts with her sneakers untied, hair wet, some form of breakfast in hand, eager to get going with the day. She had a way of making everyone feel important and always took the time to check in with you to make sure things were going alright.
I'd like to share an email that Carrie wrote to me a few months ago.
She entitled it: Best Hair of My Life
"Okay, so that may be going a bit far, but I got your attention... Though seriously, today I have some damn fine hair. In visiting my lovely neighborhood Fantastic Sam's, I only meant to have it cut, so it would look more like normal citizen hair, rather than crazy, nasty, like straw, bag lady hair. Man I am good with words...
But seriously, after a trim, my hairstylist blew dry it, and lemme tell you, if I wasted 30 minutes a day on this, I could apparently be way more attractive."
Carrie then went on to explain that she wanted to go for a run, but that would mess up her great hair. That was the dilemma of the day: have great hair, or go for a run.
She liked to finish her emails with, "In BruinLand, you spell trouble with a capital Carrie the Master P".
Her cheeriness and enthusiasm was contagious, and because of that, a part of Carrie lives on in all of us that were lucky enough to call her a friend.
For Carrie, whom I was lucky enough to call my friend. Whom I was lucky enough to grow up around. Whom I am lucky enough to remember, miss, and love every day.
November 13th, 2006:
I'm A Lot Braver When It's All Just Talk
Current mood:indifferent
As I find myself preparing to move I realize that I am growing more and more anxious about it. I'm moving out of my parent's house. This is something I have been waiting for since I was 15 years old. This is something I yearend for. There were times in my life where I thought that I would be ok – I would be better – if only I was out of my parent's house. I am a horrible person for thinking that. So many people are family-less. So many people aren't fortunate enough to have their families in their lives.
So, now, when moving is only 4 days away, I sit here. My room is a mess – it will have to be cleaned before I can begin to pack. I haven't begun packing. I haven't even made a list. I don't know where to start. I'll be living between my two houses for a while. What do I take? What do I leave? I feel lame for not knowing. But I do know. What I know is that I'll be living between two houses, which basically means living out of a suitcase for parts of it.
I'm afraid I'll stress about money, even though I know how it will work out every month. I'm afraid my mother will be sad without me, even though she has the dog and cats and my sister (and my dad?). I'm afraid that my mind will go back to a bad place; that living with strangers will make me feel isolated.
My pictures – my most prized possessions – are the only things ready to go. But don't think they're the originals. No, they're duplicates – an extra set for my new room, so when I am at my parent's house there will still be my friends on the wall.
Am I excited? Yes. Not as much as I thought I would be. Wanting to do something and getting to do it are two very different things. I'm a lot braver when it's all just talk.
March 26th, 2006:
Carrie's Memorial
Yesturday was Carrie's memorial service.
When the memorial started it was raining, but at the end when we went outside to do the balloon launch the sun was shining. It was a wonderful service that did a wonderful job of capturing Carrie's beautiful personality and spirit.
Catherine and Phillip did a wonderful job - you two are so special. Carrie loved you very much and was lucky to have you as friends.
I spoke at the service:
Carrie and I spent many summers with the rest of the Fit Kids Posse, monitoring large amounts of children at our Summer Home – also known as the Page Youth Center. Summer after summer Carrie would put ridiculously goofy spins on older games, insist on getting into the pool EVERY Tuesday even if it was freezing cold outside, and tease me about the latest weird thing I was (or wasn't) doing. Every morning she would walk in wearing the same khaki-colored corduroy shorts with her sneakers untied, hair wet, some form of breakfast in hand, eager to get going with the day. She had a way of making everyone feel important and always took the time to check in with you to make sure things were going alright.
I'd like to share an email that Carrie wrote to me a few months ago.
She entitled it: Best Hair of my Life
Okay, so that may be going a bit far, but I got your attention... Though seriously, today I have some damn fine hair. In visiting my lovely neighborhood Fantastic Sam's, I only meant to have it cut, so it would look more like normal citizen hair, rather than crazy, nasty, like straw, bag lady hair. Man I am good with words...
But seriously, after a trim, my hairstylist blew dry it, and lemme tell you, if I wasted 30 minutes a day on this, I could apparently be way more attractive.
Carrie then went on to explain that she wanted to go for a run, but that would mess up her great hair. That was the dilemma of the day: have great hair, or go for a run.
She liked to finish her emails with, "In BruinLand, you spell trouble with a capital Carrie the Master P".
Her cheeriness and enthusiasm was contagious, and because of that, a part of Carrie lives on in all of us that were lucky enough to call her a friend.
It was a special day and the 200+ people at the service will never forget Carrie or what she did for all of the people that she touched.
We love you, Carrie. :-) You'll be with us always.
March 20th, 2006:
She's Still With Us
Current mood:sad
Carrie E. Phillips ~4/23/1981 to 3/15/2006~
"To my dearest friends and family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every
morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and
He said, "I welcome you".
"It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your friends and family,
They'll be here later on.
I need you here badly,
you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do,
to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do, and
foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And I will be beside you
every day and week and year
and when you're sad
I'm standing there to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you..
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er,
I'm closer to you now than
I ever was before.
And to my very many friends
trust God knows what is best,
I'm still not far away from you
I'm just beyond the crest.
There are many rocky roads
ahead of you and
many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by
taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as give unto the world,
the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God
at night...
"My day was not in vain".
And now I am contented....
that my life was worthwhile.
Know as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low,
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street
and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in you footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze
or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug
or just a soft embrace.
And when it's time for you to go
....from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going..
..you're coming here to me.
And I will always love you
from that land way up above.
Will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends His Love"
~Author~
Ruth Ann Mahaffey
©Copyright 1998-2001
March 19th, 2006:
Carrie Phillips - Article
Current mood:crushed
Carrie E. Phillips ~4/23/1981 to 3/15/2006~
This article was in the L.A. Times:
Carrie Phillips, a month shy of her 25th birthday, had worked as a
teacher and coach at Turning Point School only a short time, but she
seemed to turn everyone around her - students, parents and colleagues -
into her biggest fans.
So it was no surprise that students chatted eagerly with her Wednesday
afternoon as she escorted them back to school from a Frisbee tournament
at a nearby park in Culver City.
At the private school, parents and students were convinced that her
death was the ultimate sacrifice of a teacher who gave much of herself
to her pupils.
"My daughter's sense of it is that Carrie acted as a human shield,"
said
Andra Vaccaro, whose daughter Alexandra, 14, was in the group of 15
teenagers.
"I know she gave her life for those children," said actress Sheryl Lee
Ralph, whose son, Etienne Maurice, was one of the students with
Phillips.
"I really loved Coach Phillips," Maurice said. "If you needed any help,
she was there. If you had any problems in math, she would help you. If
you wanted to know how to make a jump shot in basketball, she was
there.
If you weren't acting right, she'd put you in your place.
"Just before, she gave me a great grade in math for my past report
card,
saying how I had improved and how I had become such a leader," he
recalled. "That really touched me."
Ralph credited Phillips' firm encouragement with helping her son
finally
master math.
"She's the kind of teacher you want. She's young, she's excited. She
had
a way to engage students in the class," she said. "She was a great
teacher."
The accident occurred a few days before Phillips was supposed to help
chaperon the school's 25 eighth-graders on a trip to Washington, D.C.
In addition to teaching math, Phillips coached the girls in basketball
and volleyball.
Students and parents said Phillips would happily go the extra mile for
her students, whether in physical education or math classes.
"This young gal was very loved by the coaches and students," said
Cathlene Rosha, whose daughter, Claudia, attends third grade at Turning
Point.
Rhonda Alan, the mother of two students, said the school prides itself
on a balance of challenging academics and nurturing. The school has
classes for preschool through eighth grade.
"It really is a family," she said.
Friends lauded Phillips as a passionate athlete who played soccer,
basketball and flag football; an avid Lakers fan; and a teacher and
coach who glowed when talking about her students.
The UCLA graduate, who wore her auburn hair just past her shoulders and
smiled often, played on the Gold Diggers volleyball team in a Westside
league. She shared an apartment in Santa Monica.
February 28th, 2006:
Santa Barbara Grown
Current mood:awake
You know you're from Santa Barbara when:
1. It's 85 degrees on Valentines day.
2. You can see the ocean from the mountains.
3. You're little broken down shack goes for at least 1 million dollars
4. You know that your friends are up to something if they say "lets head over to the Westside."
5. You know what the Square, the Pit and Paseo are.
6. Kids drive more BMWs than any other car, except for maybe Jettas.
7. There are more than 10 stores in town that sell jeans for more than $250
8. Down on Haley means something to you
9. You think Carp is the ghetto
10. You think the East side is the ghetto
11. You think the Mesa is the ghetto
12. Mexicans are the majority...but they live in different neigborhoods.
13. You've eaten mexican food at Super Cuca's, La Super Rica or Mr. Ponchos.
14. An 8th grader's wardrobe could feed a third world country.
15. Santa Barbara hates San Marcos, San Marcos hates Santa Barbara, they both hate Dos Pueblos and Bishop Diego is completely forgotten about.
16. You hate G-town.
17. There are more private schools than public schools.
18. Rich girls try to make themselves look more hardcore by dressing EMO
19. Bums ask you for money on every single block when you're walking on state street.
20. You know who the "back flip for a dollar guys" are
21. You've touched the "Snake Guy's" snake....yup
22. You've popped a big huge bubble on state.
23. You've laughed at the weird bellydancer on state.
24. You were pissed when Kava Lounge started charging for their hookahs
25. You've swam in the Biltmore pool over a billion times, especially since the Coral closed
26. You know which kids are tweakers, cokeheads, stoners, and alcoholics just by looking at them.
27. You know that when people say they want to go on a "mission" they dont mean the Santa Barbara mission......
(ha im on a mission myself)
28. One word for weekends: mickeys :)
29. When you get drunk all you crave is a fat Freebird's burrito!!!!!!!
30. You laugh in a persons face when they say they are going to drive down DP on a friday night
October 25th, 2005:
Don't Wait - NOT a forward or Chain Mail
A few minutes ago I learned a new appreciation for a very important lesson: seize the moment. Sure, we’ve all heard it before, and we’ve all said to ourselves that we would take our opportunities as they come, but do we really? I didn’t, and now I will not get the chance to say goodbye to a dear friend.
I’ve got an older friend that has taken me under her wing and guided me through the necessary classes and applications for Nursing. She was a Nurse for more than 25 years, with experience in almost every aspect, from emergency rooms to operating rooms to neonatal care. She has always offered her help and guidance, asking nothing in return. I always enjoyed our lunches together, listening to her great stories, her good advice, and her encouragement.
Chris has been living with Breast Cancer on and off for about ten years now. She’s had healthy times that she spent on the back of her motorcycle – her favorite thing - and times where she was so sick she couldn’t even have her beloved Toby in bed with her (Toby is a Schnauzer dog). I don’t remember her ever being in denial of her disease – she was always blunt and never spoke of death with fear. She never complained about all of her treatments, the weeks in the hospital, the months lying in bed. Her Breast Cancer came back a few months ago, so the treatments began over again, leaving her body tired and weak. A few weeks ago she found out that the cancer has spread to her lungs and other parts of her body. She decided that she was going to stop treatment. I found this out about a week ago and decided I should write to her (she moved to Florida to be with her family at the beginning of September, otherwise I would visit). Well, I never “got around” to sitting down and writing to her, partially because I didn’t know how I would even begin to say goodbye in a letter, didn’t know how to convey my appreciation in mere words on a page, and partly because I thought I had time. She’s gone downhill faster than anyone thought. She’s gotten so sick that she doesn’t recognize her family members anymore, and there’s no way she would know what they were talking about if someone read her a letter. I missed my chance. I missed my chance to tell her what she meant to me and to thank her for all that she has done, not only for me, but for everyone that she has touched throughout her life.
Maybe nothing would have been different if I had sat down and written to her when I first found out – maybe she was too far gone then, too. I don’t know, and I probably never will. People always say things like “they know how much you cared for them,” and I would like to believe that this is true for the people in my life, but I can’t be certain that it is. I didn’t know how to say goodbye, and now I’ll never get the chance to.
This isn’t meant to make you all sad or something. I just needed to remind you all once more of the need to live in the present. We don’t know what tomorrow may bring and we need to take advantage of our opportunities and seize the moment.
September 23rd, 2005:
My Night in the Emergency Room...
Current mood:bored
So, I got to spend a good portion of my Thursday night in the Emergency Room (and I missed the new episode of E.R.!).
I was helping some friends catour an event and someone thought that someone else put a candle-thing out, but they really hadn't, and the grate that the candle-thing was in got tipped over next to me and it fell and some splattered onto my foot.
As I was rushing away from the fire on the ground I thought "huh, my foot is really hot even though I'm not near the fire anymore". That's when I looked down and saw that my foot was on fire - my skin was burning. I yelled that my foot was on fire and some guys jumped on it with some wet towels. I was wearing flip-flops.
I was sitting with wet/cold towels on my burns and I was trying to be brave, but the pain got really bad and tears started rolling down my face, so they decided I should go to the emergency room.
Ulises drove me and I got right in and they put in an IV to give me Morphine. My parents got there and they wouldn't let them come back and see me for like a half hour, but then they finally did. My dad took Ulises home and then went home and my mom stayed with me. The Morphine wasn't working, so they had to use two other drugs and then I was a little loopy.
I don't remember the staff wrapping my foot and I have no idea how they got me into my car. I also don't remember getting from my car into my house, into my pajamas, and into bed, but I woke up in bed, so it all happened somehow.
I'm alright, but it was hella scary seeing my own foot on fire. I've got a 2nd degree burn on my left foot and I have to wrap it and go to the doctor to get them to re-wrap it and pick off dead skin every day for a while. I'll probably be on crutches for a week or so.
~Jen~
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