Sanctus Real - Lead Me

I feel like sometimes we live to work, instead of work to live. This is a nice reminder to slow down and focus on the important things in life.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Ketcham Update

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

Hello family and friends!

It’s been a while since our last Ketcham Update, so I figured it was time to sit down and try to summarize the past few months.

Fall is underway up here! The trees are changing colors and the temperature is dropping. It will be nice to experience seasons after so many years of either sun or fog.

We’ve been enjoying living up here in Albany, OR. It’s been nice to be able to have time off to explore things. We did a lot of fishing this summer at local rivers and lakes. The Willamette River is literally 2 blocks away from us, and we’ve taken advantage of the boat ramp several times. We definitely miss Camarillo and all our friends (and family) down in Southern California. It was wonderful to have a group of friends and know that at least one would be willing to hang out at any given time.

In August we went on a week-long rafting trip on the Snake River with Dan’s family (minus one of his younger brothers, Tyler, who was in Iraq). The trip was wonderful, despite some ugly weather the first few days. We ate lots of bass, got really good at putting up our tents in the rain, and perfected the art of packing and unpacking the rafts. It was great to be on the water and get to spend quality time with Dan’s family. We can’t wait until next summer’s trip, and are hoping Tyler, and his fiancé, Chelsea will join us on the water.

Towards the end of August I got the opportunity to go back to CA for a few days. I was hired to drive a woman’s car and her two dogs from Santa Barbara to Aspen, CO. She flew me down to LAX and I got to spend about 4 days with friends and family before beginning my journey. The dogs and I had a nice drive to Aspen - we broke it up into two days. Before flying back to Oregon I got to spend one full day in Aspen. The trees were just starting to change colors and it was really beautiful. I was surprised how similar it was to some areas up here.

Lately we’ve been deer hunting in our area. During bow season we saw several deer (lots of doe, but only 1 tiny buck), but they were too quick for us. Rifle season opened up yesterday, so we got out of bed earlier then we have a quite a while and drove out to nearby “Mary’s Peak“. Several hours of sitting and driving around with no luck. Dan’s decided we should wait until the weather changes before going out again.

Dan just finished his first week of school. He’s in four classes (English, Psychology, Religion, and Wildlife Conservation) and really likes it. He’s currently at Linn-Benton Community College and wants to transfer to Oregon State University to get a degree in Fisheries and Wildlife.

This coming week I will be able to schedule my board exam to get my Respiratory Therapy license. It’s been a long time coming (I’ve been out of school 6 months now) and I’m very ready for the waiting to end. I’m hoping to take my exam before Dan’s birthday (the end of October), but that all depends on what test dates they have available. Sorry, but I’m not going to be telling anyone when my test date is - you’ll find out after I pass. Once I pass I have to wait a few weeks to actually receive my license, then I have to apply to transfer it to Oregon. We’re hoping that I will be able to begin applying for jobs after Dan’s Christmas break.

Last week I decided I needed to do something to get myself out of the house, so I talked to the athletic director at the Albany Boys and Girls Club. After hearing about all the different jobs I performed for so many years at the Boys and Girls Clubs of Santa Barbara County he offered me 4 different job options. Two of them required a 5-day a week time commitment, which is more then I am looking for. The other two were with their basketball program - either coaching a Kindergarten team or refereeing games a few times a week. I’ve decided to ref the younger kids basketball games a few times a week. I loved doing it in Santa Barbara, and I’m hoping I’ll like it just as much here.

Next weekend we’re going to the Roloff Family Farms (it may sound familiar if you’ve heard of the Reality TV Show “Little People, Big World” on TLC). The farm is up near Portland, and ever since seeing it on TV I’ve always wanted to go. They have a large farm and sell pumpkins every year. They even have a wagon ride that gives you a tour of the farm (they have a “western town” and other various things on the farm to see). We’re going with Dan’s best friend and his wife, who live about an hour north of us. Don’t worry, I’ll take lots of pictures.

These updates always end up being a lot longer then I plan. I hope that you are all doing well!

All our love,

~Jen and Dan

Oregon Move

Hello family and friends.

We are happy to report that our move last week went very smoothly!

On Monday we got to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in Camarillo (Wood Ranch - they also catered our wedding back in November) with our good friends Stephanie and Joseph Crisostomo from Bakersfield. It had been several months since we had seen them and it was wonderful to get to spend some time with them before our move.

On Tuesday morning we picked up our 16 foot Budget rental truck and car trailer. We took it to be weighed empty (per Navy requirements to be reimbursed for the move) and then took it back to our apartment to start loading it. We were lucky to have a little help from a friend for a bit in the middle of the day. It's amazing how much stuff two people can accumulate! I didn't think there was any way we would fill the 16 foot truck, but we almost did. Tuesday evening we got the chance to see various friends who came to send us off and spend one more evening with us. They helped load Dan's truck onto the tow trailer and helped load the last minute items into the moving truck. That night Dan and I camped on our apartment floor out for our last night in Camarillo.

Wednesday started early - we got up at 5am and hit the road at 6am. Dan drove the rental truck towing his truck and I drove my SUV with our one backpack of clothing, our ferrets in their cage, and a few of our taxidermy animals. It was SLOW going up the grapevine. We were both glad to have that portion of the drive over with. The drive that first day went well and in the middle of the day we were surprised with the temperature (not as hot as we thought it would be) and our distance. The drive from Camarillo, CA to Albany, OR is usually 13.5 hours in a normal car. With the rental truck towing Dan's truck we figured it would take between 16 and 18 hours. We were pleased to make it to our goal of Medford, OR to stay the night. We made it to Medford around 7:30pm. Our ferrets LOVED the hotel room (they love anything new) and especially enjoyed the shower, which was a handicap walk-in shower that they could run in and out of freely. It felt wonderful to sleep in a bed. We took advantage of the free Internet and free breakfast before hitting the road again on Thursday.

Thursday morning we got to sleep in and left the hotel around 9am. We needed to be in Albany to sign our lease at 2pm and we gave ourselves a time buffer. There were a few more large hills, but the truck and my SUV made it through. We pulled up to our house in Albany at about 1pm. We took the truck off the trailer and the trailer off the rental truck, then got lunch and went to sign our lease. It took about 30 minutes in the leasing office and then we did a walk-through. The manager decided he wanted to clean our carpets in the living room one more time, which was a bit disappointing (that meant we couldn't move our furniture into the living room for a few days). It was pretty warm (about 90 degrees) and we unloaded about half the rental truck. We decided to take a break for dinner and then we finished unloading the truck completely in the evening while it was cooler. All our living room stuff got put into the garage.

On Friday we returned the rental truck and trailer and ran random errands. The Cable/Internet guy came and installed service in the early afternoon, which was wonderful (in CA it would take a week for Verizon to come out!). The carpet cleaner came and didn't clean the whole carpets - just sprayed a few spots. My SUV started making an awful noise, so we stopped driving it (of course the noise started at 4:45pm on Friday afternoon - no time to get it to a mechanic before the weekend). Dan's Mom (Loren) and younger brother (Aaron) came on Friday evening and stayed with us until Sunday evening. Aaron was entered in the Oregon State Shooting Competition up in Brooks, which is about a half hour north of us. It was nice to see them and great to have Aaron help move the couch and TV into the house with Dan.

We spent Saturday and Sunday in Brooks at Aaron's shooting competition. It was fun to get out and walk around and not do anything related to moving. They also brought our boat up for us (it was being stored with them in Klamath Falls, OR since we didn't have a place for it at our apartment in Camarillo) so we took it out on the Willamette River, which is right behind our house.

We took my car in on Monday to a mechanic that was recommended both on the AAA website and by one of our very friendly neighbors. We heard back this morning that it needs a new engine. We're trying to decide what to do about that right now - we're not putting a new engine in it. We should be fine with one vehicle for a few months - Dan is taking his placement testing for school right now and doesn't start classes until the end of September. Hopefully by then I will be eligible to apply for jobs. In August we'll be going on a rafting trip on the Snake River (boarder of Idaho and Oregon) with Dan's family. They do it every year and we're excited to join them this time.

Our new address is:

Dan and Jen Ketcham
120 Chicago St. NE
Albany, OR 97321

Wishing you all the best! Enjoy the rest of your summer!

~Jen and Dan

Life Update

We went to Oregon for 2 weeks at the beginning of June. We spent the first week in Klamath Falls with Dan’s family. We had lots of fun taking our boat out on Klamath Lake and fishing in the Williamson River. The second week we went to Albany, OR to look for a house and set up Dan’s school stuff. We got the school stuff squared away pretty easily. He’s all signed up and once we move up he’ll have to take placement testing and register for classes. It took nearly the entire week to find a house for us, though. We were kind of picky - we’ve got the boat which requires space to park and the ferrets. There were lots of apartments for rent (which didn’t have room to park a car, let alone a boat) and lots of houses for sale. We finally found a house we really liked, but another lady had an application in on it already. We were pretty discouraged and were ready to just rent a duplex month-to-month, leave the boat with Dan’s parents, move up, and continue looking for something more suitable for us once we were up there for good. Luckily, when we called back the next day the lady had backed out of the house, so we snatched it up. It’s a cute little 2-bedroom house with a nice sized detached garage and a nice size yard (large yard by California standards). The boat will easily fit in the garage and there’s plenty of room for a pen for Fred (my turtle) in the backyard. There’s even the Willamette River a few blocks away with a boat launch just down the road. Now we just need to get a washer, dryer, and lawnmower. It was great to finally get the house hunting out of the way. While we were up in Northern OR we got to visit some of Dan’s family that I’d never met before. We also got to see Dan’s best friend and his wife - it’s always fun to spend time with them. We went back down to Klamath Falls and spent the weekend with Dan’s parents before driving back down to Camarillo.

Since being back in Camarillo we’ve been hanging out, not doing a whole lot. I’ve packed a few boxes and we’ve set up the moving van. It’s been a bit tricky to figure out the Navy moving stuff (they’ll be reimbursing us for the move), but I think we’ve finally gotten it figured out. We’re picking up the moving van the morning of July 13th and plan to pack it up that day. We’re driving the moving van and my SUV and we’ll be towing Dan’s truck behind the moving van. We’ll officially be hitting the road for Albany, OR on July 14th. We’ll stay overnight somewhere in Northern CA (it’s a 14-hour drive in regular cars from Camarillo to Albany) and continue on the next day, arriving in Albany at our house in the 15th of July.

At the beginning of August we’ll be going on a rafting trip with Dan’s parents, brother, and brother’s friend. The 6 of us will be rafting the Snake River, which boarders Idaho and Oregon. It’ll be a 6 day trip with 4 days rafting on the water. His family has done it almost every summer for years and years. We’ll be fishing throughout the day and Dan and his brother are planning on going Bear hunting part of the time. We’ve been having fun gathering different supplies for the trip. Dan has just about everything he needs for himself, but I get to get my own life vest and water shoes.

Dan’s school starts up at the very end of September. He’s going to the local community college and plans to transfer to Oregon State University (go Beavers!) to complete a bachelor’s degree in Fisheries and Wildlife. OSU is in Corvallis, which is about 10 minutes from Albany (which is why we’re moving there - figured it was better to just move once, especially since the Navy is paying for it).

As for me, I’ve had more hiccups with school. Due to some paperwork, I won’t be able to sit for my Respiratory Therapy Board Exam until the beginning of September. This was a big disappointment - I’ve been out of school since the end of March. For now I’m focusing on the move and tying up loose ends here in CA. Once we get to Oregon I’ll begin my marathon studying for the boards. We’re not sure yet if I’ll need to come all the way back to Ventura County to take my exam, or if I’ll be able to drive down to a location in Northern CA (I have to take my test in CA to get the CA license. A CA license transfers to any state, but an OR license does not. If we ever moved to another state and I only had an OR license I’d have to do school and the exams all over again).

We’re spending our last few weeks here visiting friends and family and packing up our stuff. I’ll be sending another email out in a few weeks with our new address and contact information.

~Jen & Dan

Homecoming

Hello all.

Dan is home!

I got a phone call at 4:15am on Friday morning. It was Dan, and I was very surprised to hear him say that he was in Washington DC. Apparently he couldn't find a phone in the Kuwait airport so had to wait until they hit the US. He had a quick layover in DC and then flew here to LAX. It was a wonderful surprise to get him home 3 full days earlier then expected. I picked him up at LAX at about 10:20am. It took a while for all of his bags to come through baggage claim, but we got them all and then had to drive him down to work. He just had to check in and get information about reporting to work Monday (today). After that we came home, he ordered a pizza, and the 8 loads of dusty laundry began.

He's been sleeping alright, despite the 11.5 hour time difference between the US and Afghanistan. The first afternoon he took a 3 hour nap before I woke him up (I was afraid he wouldn't sleep at night if he kept napping) and then later he slept through the night. Saturday and Sunday nights he's woken up at 3am and had a rough time falling back asleep after that. He's been enjoying the Internet, the availability of new music (thank you i-tunes), and his phone. Our girls (the ferrets) are enjoying having new stuff to climb all over and check out. I've decided Rooster would be a fantastic TSA agent - she's all over his clothes, in and out of boxes, and very cautious of him. We spent the weekend running errands and eating at restaurants that he's missed. We got to go to church and have lunch with some friends yesterday. Today Dan is back at work, busy with paperwork and stuff like that.

Thank you again for all your love and support over the past few months. We can't wait to see you all!

~Jen~

Foolish Excitement

Having a bad morning means your day can only get better from there, right?

School testing dates have been a mess, I feel like I might be getting sick, and then I got a call from Dan this morning. He's had a few hiccups in his flights, but hopes that he'll still make his final flight and be home the same time he's scheduled to be. Right now he's stuck on a base that's hard to get out of, but at least he's comfortable - he's got couches, cots, free Internet, and phone usage for 30 minutes at a time.

When he told me I'm not allowed to pick him up at LAX Monday morning I lost it. I've been fine - haven't cried in probably a week, maybe even more. It's dumb, I get to see him either way. What's a few hours when you've waited months and months? But, I lost it. For the past few months I've had an image in my head - an airport scene. Dan getting off the plan, us rushing to greet each other. Now it'll be him, two other people, and a van driving back to the Port Hueneme base. I've got to wait for him to call and say he's almost there, then drive out to the base to get him. It's foolish, I know. At least I get my husband back. I have no right to be upset about this small thing when so many husbands/wives are still over in the sand and will be for many more months. I get my husband home early, and that should be enough.

I'm trying not to let this keep me down. Trying being the operative word...

Airport Kindness

The night before I left Florida to come home to CA I received a text message from a friend: “How do you stand missing Dan so much???? I get to see (insert friend’s fiancé’s name here) 4 days a week but it still hurts on the other 3!!! :/ ” How do I respond to this? How do I explain the hurt, ache, and emptiness I feel in a text message? I replied with this: “I don’t have a choice. We don’t have a choice. We just do the best we can. Oh, and I cry a lot.” Her text message made me think. It made me try to find words to answer her question, how do I stand missing Dan so much? I don’t think I “stand” it. More like I endure it. Like I told her, it’s not something I have any choice about. It’s not something that I can fix, or that Dan can fix. I can’t explain to someone the physical feeling of missing someone. I can’t explain to her that even though we only slept in the same bed together for 2 months before he left, that I can’t seem to sleep without him now. How do you put worry into words? Or frustration? Or love?

Traveling back from Florida was rough, to say the least. I got up at 5am (Florida time) and Steph dropped me off at the airport around 6:15am. I went to check in, and my flight was cancelled. Instead of leaving at 7:45am, connecting in Dallas and arriving at LAX at 1pm I was leaving at 11:40am, connecting in Miami, and arriving at LAX at 4:35pm. Awesome. I called Steph, but she didn’t answer. I went through security (got chosen for the ‘body scan’ thing) and found my gate. Then I had 5 hours to burn. My I-pod was only half way charged, so I bought a charger for it and read some magazines for a while. There was an article in one of my magazines about elderly people greeting troops as they return home in an airport in Maine. The article and pictures made me cry, like so many other things in life have done over the past several months. I kept being really teary for a while. I know he’s coming home soon - really soon - but he’s not home yet and it’s still really hard.

At 10:30am I went and sat at my gate again. There was an elderly couple across from me who were waiting for the same flight. A guy in an Army uniform came and sat next to them. The woman leaned over and shook his hand, slipping him $20. This made me teary again. He thanked her and they talked for a bit while I tried to eavesdrop. The Army guy (Thornton) was on his way home from his deployment in Baghdad. Our flight switched gates, and I went and asked about it. They said our flight was 20-30 minutes late, which wasn’t good because we only had an hour layover in Miami. I told the couple and the four of us talked on and off for a while. They were heading to LA for a Bible Conference at Pepperdine. They were worried they would miss their shuttle, so I offered to give them a ride if they needed one. They were very grateful for that. Finally, we boarded our plane. It was tiny, and I fell asleep as soon as we were in the air. I didn’t wake up until they overhead said we were going to land. The elderly couple were sitting behind me, so we talked about how to get to our next gate quickly. We had to wait for a shuttle to take us to the terminal. We walked very quickly and were the last ones on our flight to LAX - literally. We were very glad to have made it.

I stayed awake long enough to buy a sandwich and eat it, then I went to sleep. I must have slept 2-3 hours, because I woke up and only watched the first hour of an hour and a half movie before they told us to put our stuff away for landing. We landed at LAX at 4:45pm - perfect for LA traffic. I found the elderly couple at the baggage claim and asked if they needed the ride. They were very grateful and said that they would make their shuttle. I called the parking place and went to get my shuttle to my car. I drove home on Highway 1 and didn’t hit too much traffic. I got home at about 6:50pm. The girls were excited to see me, which made me feel good. I unpacked, did laundry, sorted our mail, returned emails, showered, uploaded my pictures, and hung out before going to bed at 10pm. I’d been up since 2am CA time, but I couldn’t sleep. You’d think after 4.5 months I’d be used to sleeping alone again. I finally crashed out around 11:45pm.

I probably won’t ever forget the elderly couple in the airport or Thornton, the Army guy. The kindness and compassion they showed him touched me. Their gratefulness at my offer for the ride touched me. I never expected that my boring 6 hour wait in the Jacksonville airport would affect me like it did. I’m glad my original flight was cancelled. I hope that someday I can show kindness and gratitude to someone like that couple did to Thornton. I hope my husband receives the same kindness when he is traveling home to me in two weeks.

100 Days & GREAT News

Today marks 100 days that Dan's been deployed, but I received great news this morning. Dan has a flight home! He is scheduled to leave Afghanistan and then has a flight back to the US on the 16th of May. He doesn't know times yet, so we're not sure if he'll be back here in CA on the 16th or 17th. Either way, this is fantastic news. I've secretly been concerned they wouldn't send him home early like they're supposed to do.

(Inset picture is Dan on April 14th, 2010)

He's been doing great these last few weeks. They changed his job from standing in a watch tower for 12 hours a day wearing heavy gear to being the "gunner" two convoys a day to a base about a mile away (he still has to wear the gear, but he gets to sit down and the convoys only take a few hours each). He really likes the change - he's able to have 'normal' hours, use the gym and Internet, and use the food galley. Plus, he gets to nap sometimes between the convoys, which he loves. He says this change has really helped the time go by more quickly for him, so that's good.

I've started researching places for us to rent up in Grants Pass. We'll be moving up in the middle of July. I've also contacted the hospitals in the area about jobs for myself and I've started setting things up for school for Dan (he doesn't get enough time online to do these things). The housing up there is looking good (definitely a lot cheaper then down here) and we're excited for what's to come in the next few months.

Thank you all for your wonderful encouragement in the last few months.

Resentment and Understanding the Lack of Understanding

Resentment is evil. I'm convinced it's of the Devil. It grows quickly and holds strong, like a vine of Ivy. Once it takes hold it is very difficult to get rid of. I have a tactic to keep resentment at bay - I ignore what I'm afraid might make me resentful. I try not to think about the little things that, when combined, will turn into that awful vine. I'm too scared of what might become if I think about those little things. When they do manage to creep into my thoughts - which I rarely allow - I only let them linger for a moment before dismissing them away. Like an annoying cat that you can just put outside when it's not convenient to have around.

I think there's a lack of understanding that sparks and surrounds resentment. Resentment builds when you're holding something against someone (or something) else. Holding something against someone (or something) else stems from some kind of misunderstanding. A mis-guided act, spoken words, the lack of an act or words...

I will never know what it's like to be the one gone. The one away form home and the surroundings you're used to. I'll never know what it's like to completely follow someones schedule, no questions asked. I'll never know what it's like to wear heavy, uncomfortable gear day in and day out. To eat crappy food for months at a time. To never have a moment alone without someone else around. To sleep, eat, bath, work with the same people, 24 hours a day for months at a time. I'll never know what it's like to be afraid for my safety in that capacity. I'll never know what it's like to miss my friends and family and to hope there's still a place for me when I make it home. I'll never know what it's like to entrust all the responsibilities of home on my spouse. I'll never know what it's like to continuously cough up dirt, use a porta-potty, or sleep in a tent with at least 15 other coughing, snoring, men.

My husband will never understand what it's like to be the one left behind. The one left in charge of the day-to-day responsibilities of not just one, but two lives. He'll never understand what it's like to pay the bills, clean the house, manage three bank accounts, take care of our pets, take care of both cars and their maintenance, while going to school/work full-time. He'll never understand what it's like to answer all the questions he leaves for people when he posts ambiguous things online. He won't get the phone calls from his in-laws with questions about their child's safety. He won't have to dance around the truth to them. He won't have to do the taxes, or send out birthday cards, or deal with the DMV. He won't have to come home to a quiet, empty house day after day. He won't make excuses to go places or run errands just to be around people. He won't go to the movies alone. He won't go to bed and feel guilty for waking up on the wrong side. He won't spend hours in line at the post office, buy packing tape in bulk, or fill out customs forms like a pro. He won't sit by the phone and pray it rings. He won't pray that when the doorbell rings unexpectedly it's not two men in uniform to deliver horrible news. He won't see the look of pity on people's faces when they find out that he's gone for months. He won't have to hear people say that the time has gone by quickly and he'll be home "so soon".

I'll never know what it's like to be the one that leaves. He'll never know what it's like to be the one left behind. This is our unspoken understanding. Understanding that we'll never understand.

Excitement Drowned out by Skepticism

What do you do when your husband tells you that there is a possibility of him coming home from his deployment in Afghanistan a few weeks sooner then you had hoped? Do you jump up and down with excitement before running out and telling your friends and family, or do you listen with skepticism and try to pretend you didn’t receive this information?

I chose the latter. I tried to fake excitement for his sake. I want him home more then anything else - he knows that - but I can’t let myself get excited before we know for sure. With the Military, nothing is ever for sure. I’ve told him before, I won’t let myself be excited until he’s got a flight number and arrival time. It’s too hard to be let down. I’ve spent the last almost 3 months with barriers up - barriers that protect me from being hurt and disappointed. As much as I want to be excited, as much as I want to give in and tell our family and friends, I just can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to them if it didn’t work out. It wouldn’t be fair to me. But, is it fair for my husband that I fake excitement at what should be exciting news? I don’t know. I hardly know what my role is, exactly. I send letters at least once a week. I send packages with snacks, fun little things, and other requests of his. I take care of our cars, our apartment, our finances, our pets, our families. I’m always supportive and encouraging to him and I try my hardest to be upbeat and happy. That’s what he needs from me. That’s my job. What more can I possibly do from 7500 miles away?

So, yes. I chose the latter. I listened with skepticism while trying to push this newest information out of my head. I acted excited while keeping myself from truly being so. This is my role.

Inspiration

I thought that maybe I should share my inspiration for starting this blog. It stems from a total stranger.

This is a link to her blog, and below it is the email I sent her about what her blog meant to me. Yes, this stranger's blog is my inspiration for my own. If you choose to read her blog, start at the bottom post and work your way up. It only takes about 15 minutes.
http://hilarybrock.blogspot.com/

Hi, Hilary.

You don't know me, but I went to high school with your husband. I kind of doubt he would remember me, I think we only interacted one weekend while at Lake San Antonio with a church group. Anyway, my friend suggested I check out your blog, so I did. You see, I'm a Navy wife. My husband is currently in Afghanistan. He was supposed to go to Japan at the end of February for just 3 months, but in December we were told it was changed to Afghanistan for 8 months. Then two days before Christmas we got a call saying he was leaving in 2 weeks. How quickly and dramatically things change. We've been through 3 deployments together and they have all be very different experiences. He spent 7 months in Iraq driving for Convoy Security 3 years ago. At that point we weren't dating and were just really good friends. Then last year he was in Spain for 7 months. We were dating at this point and it was wonderful to have him somewhere where I didn't have to worry about his safety all the time. This time he left 2 months after we got married, and like you did, I'm constantly worrying about the safety of him and his group.

I just wanted to tell you how much your blog moved me. It was like I was reading my own mind. Everything you wrote is what I've felt, but haven't expressed. Your heart physically aching, not knowing details (and not knowing if you want to know them), accepting help from others, avoiding news broadcasts, the awful feeling you get when you realized you've accepted the fact that you're now on your own and the guilt that comes with that realization, being strong on the phone when all you want to do is break down and tell him what's really going on, the hasty decision to get a pet (we got 2 ferrets right before he left and I'm often feeling as you did - was this a good idea?), missing the little things married people share, and trying not to get too excited when the end is drawing near.

Everyday I wait for a phone call. The doorbell rings and I pray there won't be two Navy men dressed up at my doorstep. I feel guilty when I realize that I don't remember what his arms around me feels like. But, I am also a lucky Navy wife. My husband's contract with the Navy is up at the end of this coming June. We are hopeful the Navy will send him home and won't stop-loss him for the remainder of his group's deployment.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that there are people like me out there reading your blog. The next time someone asks me how it feels I will send them to your site.

Thank you for finding the courage to put into words what so many of us Military wives are feeling and going through. I'm so glad Nate is back home safely with you (and your dog).

~Jen~